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Behind Bars

I will never forget my experience - getting a jail tour of the John E. Goode Pre-Trial Detention Facility in Jacksonville, Florida. It was eye-opening, shocking and powerful to say the least.

The best TV directors and producers couldn't depict a better picture than what I saw with my own eyes. These were real people in a real situation that reflected real problems in their lives.
The most powerful part of the jail tour was hearing a 18 year old inmate named Brandon, a ONE in THREE featured student speak. September 13th, 2011 I'd read Brandon's story at The Cummer and had the opportunity to meet his mother. Learn more about Brandon's story and the ONE in THREE exhibit.

We all make mistakes. Some of us continue to make the same mistakes. Some of us make the choice to change. Brandon has made the choice to change despite being behind bars. There are others like Brandon too.

I'm a native of Jacksonville, Florida so I'm not oblivious to the fact that crime is a problem for the city. Crime is a problem for every city where poverty is an issue. Poverty and education are two factors that relate to the city's crime rates. I could provide you with a statistic about how many African American men and women are "in the system" but I don't need too. I could provide you with a statistic about how many minorities and low-income Caucasians are "in the system" but I don't need to. Statistics will not make our reality different than what it is. They will only signify the drastic measures WE need to take to CHANGE the reality.

Who are WE?
Every citizen of Jacksonville. We are the people of Jacksonville. We are the people living in the communities and among those, who are making the biggest mistake of their lives. We can't change a person's situation or problems. We must focus on what we can do... mentor a child, volunteer at a school, provide individuals with information about nonprofits that may be able to help their family.

I would recommend that if you are interested, participate in the Civilian Observer Program offered by JSO. More information can be found at JSO Civilian Observer Program.

Ignorance is Bliss

One phrase from my childhood that I will always remember is, "Ignorance is bliss." I first heard this phrase from my librarian at Sallye B. Mathis Elementary school when I was in 4th or 5th grade. It has stuck with me throughout my life. Another phrase that I have heard countless times is, "Knowledge is power."

There are so many unexplained trends in the African American culture that young people don't understand or research. The phrase "Ignorance is Bliss" applies to the young African American teenagers sagging their pants. It applies to the countless individuals, who decided to plank and post pictures of themselves for the world to see. There are other examples of individuals, who participate in activities and say things without knowing the full context of their words. I would encourage my fellow friends and young people to research and learn the history behind popular trends before getting involved.

In elementary, I learned "Ignorance is bliss." In middle school, I learned that being smart made you a nerd. In high school, I learned that education was my number one priority. In college, I learned to be a skeptic.

Take the time to learn and research the history of African Americans before being an active participant in what's the latest trend in society.

Belonging At The Table

For years, women have set the table and cleared the table. It's not a mystery that every woman is accepted at the dinner table. There are mothers, who teach their daughters to follow the ritual of femininity. There are mothers, who teach their daughters to break the monotony.

Women are now accepted at the board room tables, conference tables - even on panels and podiums. Belonging at the table for women means more than being present in the room and fetching water for individuals. Belonging at the table for women means having your voice heard and valued by others. It's an inner sense of awareness that every woman feels when they're in a room with others. The quiet voice that whispers, "Why am I in this meeting?" or "I don't have anything to contribute." As women, we must silence that quiet voice.

We belong at the table because we have a different way of thinking than our male counterparts. Let's face it... men need us. Women belong at the table as active participants. Women should feel empowered to voice their opinions - start at the table!

Finding a Common Thread

I'm mentoring a 6th grader through Achievers For Life. It's been a great experience and I've developed a relationship with a young girl, who wants to be a cheerleader. We're definitely different in regards to interests and age. In middle school, I participated in band. I wasn't preparing to join the cheerleaders team in the 6th grade. I was practicing how to play my clarinet without squeaking!

Though we're different, we've both found a common thread that we share. Both of us have a sibling, who has a disability which requires special education classes. Both of our siblings aspire to be models.

It is by this common thread, that we're able to relate to one another. I have learned that mentoring helps students academically and emotionally. Though mentors and students only see each other once a week for an hour, it makes a difference.

This is my first time mentoring since I participated in First Coast High School's STAR Buc's program in 2005. STAR Buc's stands for Students Taking Active Roles Buccaneer Style. I along with three seniors mentored a classroom of 9th graders, who were at-risk for failing the FCAT. At the end of the year, the classroom voted me as "Best Mentor." Recently, I was informed that my mentee would be the "Success Story" for her middle school. She's improved academically and her behavior has changed too.

It makes me proud to mentor a child - it's the most important hour of my week!

A Poem & Reflection

Blind Eyes

One foot placed in front of another, short steps are aided by another.
Enablers holds the hands of the blind, guiding and leading.
Enablers whispers in the ears of the blind, suggesting and commanding.
Enablers disables the blind one's mind.

The blind, who can't see pass his own adversities.
The blind, who can't see pass how far society allows him to go.
The blind, who can only imagine what it would be like to see.

To see the colors black or white, and not know the difference.
To see poverty or wealth, and not judge based on appearance.
To see every person for who they are.

One foot placed in front of another, short steps are aided by another.
Enablers holds the hands of the blind, crippling one's dreams to see.

Reflections

"The blind" is someone with a disability to see pass society's expectations. There are people, who live in poverty and they are satisfied emotionally, mentally and physically. You can turn on the news today and learn about the countless unhappy and troubled celebrities in the world. Wealth and material possessions are not a measurement of happiness. Self-actualization is a measurement of happiness.

There are so many young people who have the potential to be great leaders and thinkers. But they can't see pass what society portrays in the media, nationally and locally. "Enablers" are individuals who actively directs "the blind" with guidance. Enablers don't have any motives to hinder an individual yet they affect "the blind" from reaching their full potential.

I encourage you to see yourself through your own eyes.

To and Fro'

To and Fro' is about my on and off again natural hair journey.

Being natural meant that I was embracing my identity as an African American woman. In 2007, I was studying undergrad at the University of Central Florida taking courses on African American Studies and Feminism. My new found knowledge led to taking the big chop - cutting all my perm hair and going natural. Throughout high school, the only concept of slavery I learned was a white and black concept. It wasn't until I was in a African American Studies college course that I learned that African tribes were selling each other into slavery. I was angry and shocked. My poetry reflected the feelings I was going through at that time.

Excerpt from my poem titled "Jihadist":

"No longer do I wear the veil
or the invisible cloak.
The shadow of double consciousness
doesn’t accompany me. I uprooted myself,
tended to the fields, and planted seeds in afrocentricity."

I am somewhat of a feminist. Feminism was another reason why I decided to go natural. Bell Hooks is my favorite feminist. I was actually trying to join a sorority in search of sisterhood and unity. However, I learned that I didn't need to join any group in order to support other women. Besides the whole application process was a competition among applicants.

In Feminist Theories Hooks' states "When women come together, rather than pretend union, we would acknowledge that we are divided and must develop strategies to overcome fears, prejudices, resentments and competitiveness."
I was natural for a year before I decided to get a perm again. I had my hair stylist comb out my afro' and I didn't like what I saw in the mirror! My afro' was as tall as Don King's afro'. Not to mention I didn't comb my afro' that first year at all. (Don't judge me!) By this time, hair was just hair.

October 2010, I decided to go natural again. This time around, I combed my hair and actually styled it too. I've educated myself via YouTube videos on natural hair styles. I actively ask women, who are natural for advice on products and hair styles. Sometimes I think about going back to perms. Then I think about all the compliments I get on my afro'. I feel good when I see another African American woman with natural hair. She's embracing her identity.

This weekend, an African American man asked me how long I've been natural. I informed him this was my second time and second year being natural. He responded, "I wish more women would do that."

Me too.

The Power of a Tweet!

Social media is prevalent in our society. It is the way we communicate, engage and interact with friends, colleagues and strangers. It's a networking tool for recent graduates and business professionals.

The simple use of a hashtag can be a lead to specific jobs in a particular field. For example,  #HAPPO stands for Helping A PR Professional Out. Hashtags are used for different chats ranging from TV shows, movies, music, marketing and events. People tweet throughout the day; while they eat, sleep, drink - and drive. That's scary but it's true.

I don't think I need to explain the basics of Twitter further. We all have been there and tweeted that.

I want to discuss the power of a tweet. Tweets have tremendous power and influence. Think about about the latest news article you read because of a simple tweet. Most of the time, Twitter plays a major influence on the new information we learn about different individuals, organizations, and companies. I learned about the Jacksonville Public Education Fund (@JaxPEF) from a simple tweet. That tweet lead to my current internship. The power of a tweet. Of course, I emailed the right person of contact and was scheduled an interview.

Even politicians such as Mayor Alvin Brown of Jacksonville, Florida understands and knows the power of a tweet. I checked into the Jacksonville Children's Commission via Foursquare and shouted "Mentor Training!" If you don't know about Foursquare, you deserve a badge of shame. #Imjustsaying. An hour or so later... @MayorAlvinBrown responds stating "Thanks for mentoring! That's awesome!" Once again, the power of a tweet.

Check back for Twitter screen shots!

Follow me @AletaTurner 
Most of the times, I'm tweeting about everything under the sun in 140 characters or less.

Be happy. Tweet happy. 

Nonprofits: One on One

I'm currently interning with a local nonprofit organization called the Jacksonville Public Education Fund! I am working on the ONE by ONE campaign. Visit www.onebyonejax.org for more information. I'm learning about nonprofit organizations on a daily basis as an intern and academically.

I've enrolled in a graduate online certificate program for nonprofit management with the University of Central Florida. I'm currently reading about nonprofit boards, their roles and responsibilities. If you go look at any nonprofit organization's board, you will more than likely find someone else who is involved with another nonprofit organization. It's all about forming networks, collaborations, partnerships, exchanging information and sharing resources.

My long-term goal is to continue my graduate work, get involved with various organizations and network in the Jacksonville community. I hope to begin a career in the nonprofit sector.

NY State of Mind

"New York sits bold and beautiful, brash and bounteous, a Big Apple, representing the best the country and people have to offer. Never has there been a city like it, now will there be again... it's a city of achievers, often beset by adversity, but never bested by circumstances." - John Clementis

This is a quote from a large poster of New York City that I hung up in my college apartment. It's leaning against the wall now with red and black ink marks scattered on the gray clouds. My two year old son, Zion wanted to leave his mark on the city.

It's a quote about life. Never let adversity or your circumstances keep you from you prevailing.

Keep a NY State of Mind!

23YO Mentee

I've joined IMPACTjax and was accepted into their mentoring program. In high school, I mentored 9th graders for the FCAT. Now, I'm getting mentored by the CEO and President of a marketing company. I've learned that you're never too old to learn. I'm excited about receiving professional advice and learning about invaluable resources.

The saying, "It's not what you know, it's who you know" isn't necessarily true anymore. Tonight I learned a new saying from my mentor, "It's not who you know, it's who knows you!"

With that being said, "Who wants my business card!"

Giving Thanks!

Each year, families get together and celebrate Thanksgiving! Turkey's all over America start looking over their shoulders.  : )

This year, I'm giving all my thanks to God. He has truly shown me the true meaning of faith, patience, hope and endurance. Some days I would say, "I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place." Other days, I was consumed with nervous energy as I prepared for countless interviews. I will admit during my discouraged times, I didn't turn to God. Instead of believing He would see me through, I doubted things would ever change. Then I started talking to my friends about the job market. Each friend had different stories and similar experiences. At the end of every conversation we would encourage one another to keep on praying, be patient and keep trying. I am thankful for my friends, who have prayed and encouraged me along the way this year. I am thankful for my family, they continued to believe even when I didn't.

Within the past week, I've started working another part-time job. This week, I was offered a full-time job. God is working and moving in my life. You can't tell me, He isn't. I am so thankful for God showing me that it's okay to be like Job.

I've been saying "I want a job for Christmas." God blessed me twice before Thanksgiving!

Keeping Hope Alive!

I am keeping hope alive. This year has been challenging, exhausting, emotional and frustrating. I've cried, laughed, smiled, fussed and argued. I'm going through life experiencing the same exact emotions as everyone else. Yet, my story is different.

I am a college graduate with a 1 year old son. My husband's deployed and it's our first year of marriage. I work part-time at a retail store. This December, it'll be a year since I graduated. I've been on eight interviews, including phone and in-person interviews. 

At this point, I'm having a hard time believing and continuing to have faith that everything will work out. But I devoted myself to talking with God more and praying about my situation.

It's hard being a mother, a college graduate, a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend. Especially when my mind is constantly consumed with applying for jobs, worrying about bills and contributing. It's hard going in to interview after interview and putting on a smile. A smile you've put on your face so many times before. But each time, you're sitting across from someone else who says the exact same words, "So tell me about yourself?"

What I really would like to say to that question is... I graduated from college and I'm having the hardest time finding a full-time job to support myself and my family. I may not have all  the qualifications you're looking for but I am a fast learner. Honestly, I want this job more than the next person you're going to interview. I'm willing to start tomorrow, if you'd like.

A friend sent an inspirational message to me, Job 1:21, explaining the story of Job. When I went to my Godsister's baby shower, we all had to guess what actor, actress, singer or Biblical characters we were. I ended up being Mary then Job.

God's made me realize that I am like Job. We all are at some point in our lives.

Magen's Bay Love!

My husband and I enjoyed our time in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands. Though it was a short lived, two days. When we arrived on the plane, there was a rainbow. On the morning of our depature, there was a rainbow too. Magen's Bay Beach has crystal clear, beautiful water. They even perform wedding ceremony's so we plan on making a trip back!

My journal entry reads...

Have you ever felt like a caged bird? You're trapped, alone in a place with bare walls. Your own songs are your only comfort. Sometimes you don't even want to hear yourself sing. You're tired of being caged.

 Even if a window or perhaps a door opened up... you wouldn't be able to escape to freedom. You wouldn't be able to fly high up into the sky and soar happily. You can't fly. Your wings have been clipped. Clipped to keep you as you are, a caged bird.

 Your songs may not comfort you at times but someone else loves to hear you sing. Someone else loves to see you throughout the day. Someone else believes that you like being a caged bird.

Your wings are clipped so you feel hopeless.

A bird that can't fly is flightless. But a caged bird with hope is hopeful.


After Words: Sometimes I feel like a caged bird. Looking. Waiting. Hoping. For my day to fly!

Another holiday, another reminder

You don't realize how many American holidays we have dedicated to the military unless you're going through deployment like myself. Every holiday is another reminder. He isn't here, he's over there. (At least that's how my son's children's One Source picture book explains deployment.) We sleep here. Daddy sleeps over there.

I'm starting to dislike the different holidays we celebrate as Americans. Of course, I'm all for honoring our military with holidays. But there's Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving Day, and Labor Day to name few. On these days, families get together and memories that will be talked about for years and years are created. He isn't here to make memories, to laugh, to smile, to see his son potty for the first time. This is the sacrifice that so many American military men and women make to fulfill their duties to our country. This holiday is another reminder...

Wise Words

Time can't be rewind or fast-forward. You can only live in the present. That time is all the time you have. Don't depend on the time you may have tomorrow. That time may never come.

Something New, Something Blue

We’ve decided to renew our wedding vows in 2012. On April 2nd, 2012 we’ll have been together for four years. We eloped in November 2009 and didn’t have time to have a reception or a wedding. The same day we eloped my husband had to leave for his weekend drill in another city. Everything was rushed because he was preparing for deployment : (

We won’t be celebrating our first wedding anniversary together either. We’ll have to celebrate in September when we go to St.Thomas, VI. I have decided to start planning our ceremony thanks to Bridezilla’s and Say Yes To The Dress! I really love the dresses from Alfred Angelo.

My husband has good taste when it comes to fashion. Since everything has been non-traditional, I was thinking maybe my husband could pick out my wedding dress. I wouldn’t see it until the day of the ceremony. That’s pretty non-traditional! He likes this Alfred Angelo dress, isn’t it lovely?


My visions
Our ceremony will take place on a beautiful beach. My son will be the cutest ring bearer in an all white tuxedo. Family and close friends will look on as we exchange vows we’ve written ourselves.

He likes my Fiction!

So I emailed my husband the fictional novel I'd been working on since 2006. I was surprised by  his reaction. When I was working, he left me a voice mail saying how he couldn't stop reading it. I was glad that he said it was a page-turner! He kept motivating me to write more, finish the story because he wants to know what happen's next. Does she go back to the no good men she's dealt with in her past? Does she begin a future for herself on her own? These are all good questions that I don't have the answer to. Whenever I write, I'm writing from experience and from my imagination. I guess I have these characters in my head and I hear their voices, desires and dreams. I hope to finish my fictional novel one day. I know that if I can get someone to read my novel whenever I publish it that'll make my day. If they say they love my story and they learned from it, that would make me smile. If a publishing company wants to publish my work...that would make me holler!

You Can Be a Mother & Be Educated too

If someone would have told me a year ago, I would have a son and be married... I would have sarcastically said "Yeah right." Back then, I had plans and dreams of becoming a Publicist, living in Atlanta and working in the entertainment industry. Those plans and dreams have been altered but I have realized I can still fulfill my dreams. As women, we must realize that becoming a mother doesn't mean we have to put our career goals on hold.

To all the "16 and Pregnant" MTV girls, you can still get your GED or high school diploma, go to college and get a degree. I don't know how many times I've watched that TV show and saw teenage girls struggling to continue getting an education. You can take online classes, burp and feed a baby at the same time. You can read while your child is taking a nap. I drove from Jacksonville to Orlando for four straight months, two days a week my last semester in college and worked a part-time job. Don't let God's gift to you, your child deter you away from your goals. If anything aspire to show and teach your child that no matter what obstacles come your way, you will and can overcome.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy. I'm just letting you know that it can be done. There will be times when you cry and feel like giving up. There will be times where you feel like your world is turning upside down. There will be times when you feel like everyone around you is against you. But just know that tomorrow will be better, it has to be - Because you will do everything in your power to achieve your goals.

Remember, you can do anything you put your mind to.

Learning How to Walk

At one time, we all didn't know how to walk. We were all crawlers and our parents had to carry us around. My son is learning how to walk. He still clings to the side of furniture, holding on because he's afraid to fall. I love to see him take steps, his arms and hands in the air while he tries to keep balance. When he does fall, I say "Good job" and clap my hands. I want my son to know that it's OK to fall and get back up again.

In a way, I feel like I'm learning how to walk too. Learning to walk alone without my husband here by my side. Learning to be dependent on myself and budget money for our family. As adults, we believe we already know how to walk yet we're afraid of falling. What I'm saying is that we're afraid of failing so we don't take the steps to fulfill our dreams or self. 

Be a child, hold on to those around you for support but take steps toward fulfilling yourself and personal goals.

Learn how to walk all over again.