Giving Thanks!

Each year, families get together and celebrate Thanksgiving! Turkey's all over America start looking over their shoulders.  : )

This year, I'm giving all my thanks to God. He has truly shown me the true meaning of faith, patience, hope and endurance. Some days I would say, "I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place." Other days, I was consumed with nervous energy as I prepared for countless interviews. I will admit during my discouraged times, I didn't turn to God. Instead of believing He would see me through, I doubted things would ever change. Then I started talking to my friends about the job market. Each friend had different stories and similar experiences. At the end of every conversation we would encourage one another to keep on praying, be patient and keep trying. I am thankful for my friends, who have prayed and encouraged me along the way this year. I am thankful for my family, they continued to believe even when I didn't.

Within the past week, I've started working another part-time job. This week, I was offered a full-time job. God is working and moving in my life. You can't tell me, He isn't. I am so thankful for God showing me that it's okay to be like Job.

I've been saying "I want a job for Christmas." God blessed me twice before Thanksgiving!

Keeping Hope Alive!

I am keeping hope alive. This year has been challenging, exhausting, emotional and frustrating. I've cried, laughed, smiled, fussed and argued. I'm going through life experiencing the same exact emotions as everyone else. Yet, my story is different.

I am a college graduate with a 1 year old son. My husband's deployed and it's our first year of marriage. I work part-time at a retail store. This December, it'll be a year since I graduated. I've been on eight interviews, including phone and in-person interviews. 

At this point, I'm having a hard time believing and continuing to have faith that everything will work out. But I devoted myself to talking with God more and praying about my situation.

It's hard being a mother, a college graduate, a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend. Especially when my mind is constantly consumed with applying for jobs, worrying about bills and contributing. It's hard going in to interview after interview and putting on a smile. A smile you've put on your face so many times before. But each time, you're sitting across from someone else who says the exact same words, "So tell me about yourself?"

What I really would like to say to that question is... I graduated from college and I'm having the hardest time finding a full-time job to support myself and my family. I may not have all  the qualifications you're looking for but I am a fast learner. Honestly, I want this job more than the next person you're going to interview. I'm willing to start tomorrow, if you'd like.

A friend sent an inspirational message to me, Job 1:21, explaining the story of Job. When I went to my Godsister's baby shower, we all had to guess what actor, actress, singer or Biblical characters we were. I ended up being Mary then Job.

God's made me realize that I am like Job. We all are at some point in our lives.

Magen's Bay Love!

My husband and I enjoyed our time in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands. Though it was a short lived, two days. When we arrived on the plane, there was a rainbow. On the morning of our depature, there was a rainbow too. Magen's Bay Beach has crystal clear, beautiful water. They even perform wedding ceremony's so we plan on making a trip back!

My journal entry reads...

Have you ever felt like a caged bird? You're trapped, alone in a place with bare walls. Your own songs are your only comfort. Sometimes you don't even want to hear yourself sing. You're tired of being caged.

 Even if a window or perhaps a door opened up... you wouldn't be able to escape to freedom. You wouldn't be able to fly high up into the sky and soar happily. You can't fly. Your wings have been clipped. Clipped to keep you as you are, a caged bird.

 Your songs may not comfort you at times but someone else loves to hear you sing. Someone else loves to see you throughout the day. Someone else believes that you like being a caged bird.

Your wings are clipped so you feel hopeless.

A bird that can't fly is flightless. But a caged bird with hope is hopeful.


After Words: Sometimes I feel like a caged bird. Looking. Waiting. Hoping. For my day to fly!

Another holiday, another reminder

You don't realize how many American holidays we have dedicated to the military unless you're going through deployment like myself. Every holiday is another reminder. He isn't here, he's over there. (At least that's how my son's children's One Source picture book explains deployment.) We sleep here. Daddy sleeps over there.

I'm starting to dislike the different holidays we celebrate as Americans. Of course, I'm all for honoring our military with holidays. But there's Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving Day, and Labor Day to name few. On these days, families get together and memories that will be talked about for years and years are created. He isn't here to make memories, to laugh, to smile, to see his son potty for the first time. This is the sacrifice that so many American military men and women make to fulfill their duties to our country. This holiday is another reminder...

Wise Words

Time can't be rewind or fast-forward. You can only live in the present. That time is all the time you have. Don't depend on the time you may have tomorrow. That time may never come.

Something New, Something Blue

We’ve decided to renew our wedding vows in 2012. On April 2nd, 2012 we’ll have been together for four years. We eloped in November 2009 and didn’t have time to have a reception or a wedding. The same day we eloped my husband had to leave for his weekend drill in another city. Everything was rushed because he was preparing for deployment : (

We won’t be celebrating our first wedding anniversary together either. We’ll have to celebrate in September when we go to St.Thomas, VI. I have decided to start planning our ceremony thanks to Bridezilla’s and Say Yes To The Dress! I really love the dresses from Alfred Angelo.

My husband has good taste when it comes to fashion. Since everything has been non-traditional, I was thinking maybe my husband could pick out my wedding dress. I wouldn’t see it until the day of the ceremony. That’s pretty non-traditional! He likes this Alfred Angelo dress, isn’t it lovely?


My visions
Our ceremony will take place on a beautiful beach. My son will be the cutest ring bearer in an all white tuxedo. Family and close friends will look on as we exchange vows we’ve written ourselves.

He likes my Fiction!

So I emailed my husband the fictional novel I'd been working on since 2006. I was surprised by  his reaction. When I was working, he left me a voice mail saying how he couldn't stop reading it. I was glad that he said it was a page-turner! He kept motivating me to write more, finish the story because he wants to know what happen's next. Does she go back to the no good men she's dealt with in her past? Does she begin a future for herself on her own? These are all good questions that I don't have the answer to. Whenever I write, I'm writing from experience and from my imagination. I guess I have these characters in my head and I hear their voices, desires and dreams. I hope to finish my fictional novel one day. I know that if I can get someone to read my novel whenever I publish it that'll make my day. If they say they love my story and they learned from it, that would make me smile. If a publishing company wants to publish my work...that would make me holler!

You Can Be a Mother & Be Educated too

If someone would have told me a year ago, I would have a son and be married... I would have sarcastically said "Yeah right." Back then, I had plans and dreams of becoming a Publicist, living in Atlanta and working in the entertainment industry. Those plans and dreams have been altered but I have realized I can still fulfill my dreams. As women, we must realize that becoming a mother doesn't mean we have to put our career goals on hold.

To all the "16 and Pregnant" MTV girls, you can still get your GED or high school diploma, go to college and get a degree. I don't know how many times I've watched that TV show and saw teenage girls struggling to continue getting an education. You can take online classes, burp and feed a baby at the same time. You can read while your child is taking a nap. I drove from Jacksonville to Orlando for four straight months, two days a week my last semester in college and worked a part-time job. Don't let God's gift to you, your child deter you away from your goals. If anything aspire to show and teach your child that no matter what obstacles come your way, you will and can overcome.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy. I'm just letting you know that it can be done. There will be times when you cry and feel like giving up. There will be times where you feel like your world is turning upside down. There will be times when you feel like everyone around you is against you. But just know that tomorrow will be better, it has to be - Because you will do everything in your power to achieve your goals.

Remember, you can do anything you put your mind to.

Learning How to Walk

At one time, we all didn't know how to walk. We were all crawlers and our parents had to carry us around. My son is learning how to walk. He still clings to the side of furniture, holding on because he's afraid to fall. I love to see him take steps, his arms and hands in the air while he tries to keep balance. When he does fall, I say "Good job" and clap my hands. I want my son to know that it's OK to fall and get back up again.

In a way, I feel like I'm learning how to walk too. Learning to walk alone without my husband here by my side. Learning to be dependent on myself and budget money for our family. As adults, we believe we already know how to walk yet we're afraid of falling. What I'm saying is that we're afraid of failing so we don't take the steps to fulfill our dreams or self. 

Be a child, hold on to those around you for support but take steps toward fulfilling yourself and personal goals.

Learn how to walk all over again.

I guess, "This Is It"

I'm not sure what MJ was referring to but I feel like "This Is It." This is the beginning of a life-changing experience for myself, my son and husband. Last year, my husband and I talked about and imagined this very moment. Being away from each other longer than a month or two. A whole year.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this year. With my family and friend's support, I'm sure I can do it.

This Is It. Well the beginning, at least.